glitter {

january. the year stretches its legs. yawns. and heads off to join its friends in an eternal slumber.

***

glitter is the most annoying shit. it gets everywhere and you can't clean it up. you'll bring a vacuum to it and try to clean it out. after what feels like hours, you find more. it shines right at you. brilliantly taunting you. telling you, "you missed me!"

i guess i missed you.

***

nobody stays. 

they say if a friendship lasts seven years it'll last a lifetime. i believe it. the friends i've had for seven years are friends i'll hold onto. roots of a tree. mortar to a brick. tire to a pavement that gets wetter with water and ice and everything the universe tries to kill us off.

nobody stays except when the universe decides it's time for snow. so some people don't believe in seven years.

but years don't matter much to me. minutes do. sometimes, i get a fuller picture of someone in seven minutes than i do in seven months. and seven days is enough for me to decide if i want to make something seven years. and maybe someday, i'll make those seven years the other half of my seven decades. until then, emptiness.

***

have you thought to ask the christmas lights how they feel? every december when the holly and jolly spawns antlers and noses on cars. when the cold feels a little magic, stinging your cheek with an inkling of purpose. smiles are a little brighter. beards grow a little longer. laughs grow a little louder. christmas season is the most wonderful time of the year. and at its center are all the lights. hung up on trees, houses, cars, lampposts. knowing they'll be taken down come the new year. still they gleam. bright and brighter and brighter and brighter. like their only purpose is to fucking die. 

***

i question everything i do, probably to the most extreme extent of anyone i know. not in an overthinking kind of way, but in a way that gets me to try learning a little more about myself.

why did i ask that question? am i more curious than i thought?

why did i take that turn? am i more impatient than i thought?

why did i fake that smile? am i more anxious than i thought?

why do i still give a fuck? i must be dumber than i thought.

} 2026.01.08